Step 1: Acquire Rice – First, locate your rice. Check your pantry, or if you’re like me, realize you forgot to buy some and make a last-minute grocery run in your pajamas. Any type of rice works: white, brown, jasmine, basmati, just don’t use instant rice unless you want to be judged.

Step 2: Measure Like a Pro – Use the magical rice cooker measuring cup that came with the machine. (If you lost it, congratulations, you’re part of the 99% of rice cooker owners who have no idea where theirs is.) If all else fails, use a regular cup and hope for the best.

Step 3: Wash the Rice (Yes, You Must Do This) – Put the rice in the pot and rinse it under cold water. Swirl it around with your hand like you’re performing some ancient ritual. The water will turn cloudy, this is normal. Rinse and repeat until the water is mostly clear. (If you skip this step, your rice might be stickier than an ex who won’t take a hint.)

Step 4: Add Water – White rice: 1 part rice to 1.5-2 parts water.

Step 5: Press the Button and Pray – Put the lid on, plug in the rice cooker, and press the “Cook” button. Now, resist the urge to open the lid every two minutes. The rice cooker knows what it’s doing, it has one job. If your rice cooker has multiple settings, just select the one that says “Rice” or “White Rice.” If it has fancy buttons like “Steam” or “Porridge” and you feel overwhelmed, just press the one that sounds least threatening.

Step 6: The Mysterious “Keep Warm” Mode – When the rice cooker switches to “Keep Warm”, don’t panic. This is normal. It means the rice is done cooking but is now sitting in a cozy sauna. Let it rest for 5-10 minutes to absorb any remaining water. *Hearthy hint! If you’re impatient and open it too soon, prepare for slightly undercooked rice and a lifetime of regret.

Step 7: Fluff and Serve – Use a plastic or wooden spatula (not metal, unless you enjoy scratching your rice cooker’s soul). Gently fluff the rice to release steam and separate the grains. Serve it on a plate, in a bowl, or eat it straight from the pot with a spoon. Your kitchen, your rules.